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Connecting From the Heart

12/12/2015 0 Comments

Sinking into Love...Coming Home to Self.

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       Driving on the way home my sons and I have the most interesting conversations. My youngest, now just shy of ten is not lacking in what he adds to our discussions. This particular day it was he that asked such a thought provoking question that seized my attention. His question caused me to search deep within myself for not just a quick response but something meaningful and full insight from a life lived and lessons learned. 

       He asked how would a person know if they were ready for marriage. The question came on the heels of another question asking why did his father and I divorce. His question struck me. I found it profoundly important to not only be honest but to impart to him wisdom that he may utilize in his own life. I pondered his words and allowed them to resonate within. The response was from my soul. I told my son that a person is ready for marriage when they intentionally love themselves; When they are able to accept themselves flaws and all. 

       Reading these words casually one may miss their depth. Many people would say that they love themselves but when examined more closely the signs of loving oneself are not visible. The internal dialogue tells a different story. The dialogue of of self-judgemental thoughts that parade the average person's mind are a result of feeling inadequate and broken. Looking for love in this state of brokenness leaves you vulnerable to someone coming in and filling a void that cannot be filled through another human being. The old wise teaching of loving your neighbor as you love yourself has loving oneself first at its base. When our self love is unhealthy we love others as we love ourselves in an unhealthy way. The way we think and feel about ourselves as well as the way we treat ourselves will be how we show up in relationships and what we project onto the people we are in relationships with. 
        In my former marriage I did not know what self love and self acceptance looked like. I  did not have a resting place for the trauma I experienced as a child. I thought I was flawed and unworthy of love. I thought that no one could truly love me. I ended up marrying a man that initially seemed to love me, but soon showed signs of emotional abuse. I projected my insecurities onto him and he projected his onto me. We were a mess. 

        It wasn't until I learned how to love and accept myself that I truly learned to love others. For me this deeper self-love came from knowing that I am unwaveringly loved by my Heavenly Father. He loves me flaws and all. His love has healed many wounds in my life. After many years of looking for my worthiness in the face and acceptance of others I finally have begun to know and understand my value and worthiness as a human being. I also now feel ready for love in a romantic sense. I recognize my flaws as well as my strengths. I accept myself and love myself seeing no one above me and no one beneath me. I am ready to serve a man, a companion in marriage while setting healthy boundaries around what is necessary and important for me as well. I am now ready for marriage. 


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    Awakening to your value is a daily moment by moment occurrence. The key to becoming aware of your value is to first understand that you are worthy of love and respect including and perhaps most importantly from yourself.

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"Before trying a life coach I felt a sense of embarrassment to let anyone know what I was going through. It seemed too hard to face the truth about my life up until recently. It took for me to reach mental distress before I reached out for help. Reaching out for help to Anitra Rice was the best first choice I could have made to start my new healthy journey. With every session my thoughts become clearer on what I WANT OUT OF LIFE! Coaching is not only helping with my inner peace, but also my PARENTING is improving, which has impacted my son in a positive manner as well. Thanks Ms. Rice!"
                                                            ~Sincerely Mycal
                                                           Parent/Legacy Builders Parent Coaching Program
"It helped me to see that there are other people out there just like me"                                                                         ~Taisha Glenn 
                                                          Parent /Workshop attendee

"Great speaker that catches your emotion and attention. Creating a vision board was inspiring.                              

                                                                 ~Laurie Dan-Ladi
                                                                         Educator


Anitra.... articulated my thoughts, feelings and journey so perfectly that it inspired me to the core of my being. God has given you a gift to be able to share and bring hope to those who are on the journey to healing in Jesus.... God has been so faithful to heal me... you've just put it into words and song. May God continue to bless you and others through you.
                                                                        ~Marie Pegorraro
                                                                   Hope Community Church
"Hearing Ms. Rice's story of her life, who would have known that she's been through what she's been through. The different exercises she had for the (attendees) to do were very helpful in understanding myself"
                                                                       ~Tiffany Davis
                                                               Parent/Workshop attendee

"This (Confidence Building Workshop) was wonderful...This (vision boarding) took me in so many directions! I realize I must change my thinking to draw up a plan."
                                                                 ~ Patti Dawes
                                                                        K-2 Dean


Finding your way to your most authentic self and healthy path requires courage and forward momentum. Anitra helps you repurpose obstacles so they aid you on your journey. That was my experience. My 'demons' are now whipped, chained and pulling my sleigh forward.
                                                                            ~ Coaching Client
As a teacher I know we all struggle with starting a parent meeting off with positive things about a child who has been cutting up in our class. Well, one day, I was speaking to Ms. Rice about a student that has been significantly misbehaving in class. I told her how I was finally able to get the parent to come in for a face to face meeting. Ms. Rice shared with me how to start the meeting off by showing the parent empathy about having to receive calls about their child misbehaving in class and then how to proceed with asking the parent to help me be able to work with their child so he/she can be more successful in school. I must say I tried this with my parent and it really turned the atmosphere for the meeting around.  The parent was not defensive about his child. He even did most of the talking after that with his child telling his daughter how disappointed he was in the choices she's making and how she is making it hard for her teachers to help her to learn all she can. After the meeting, the little girl was a different person. I truly feel that this was because I started the meeting off with the strategies that Ms. Rice had provided me. Thank you Ms. Rice for your help. You turned a negative to a positive meeting.

                                                                                    ~Mrs. L. Herron
                                                                                           Educator
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