SAYING IRREPREHENSIBLE IS NOT IRREPARABLE!

        Yes, I know the title is a tongue twister. And yes, I also know that irreprehensible is not a word. That darned non-word has been wrecking my brain for 2 days! You see I love words and I appreciate grammar. I have even walked away from dating a particular suitor due to his very poor grammatical skills. Perhaps it's the teacher in me. I am generally attracted to men that are articulate and well spoken. I am also hard on myself when it comes to grammar. I recognize that I am not perfect and many times I'll give myself a pass for artistic flare. Ebonic slang and colloquialisms don't fit into a neat package of grammatical strictness but they do add pizzazz, color and pop to speech. And being the creative that I am, I enjoy using them.
      However, two days ago while speaking to a very well respected and important leader, a superintendent of our denomination, I grasped for the words to express my thoughts on a particular subject that I am very familiar with. I searched for it. I waited for what seemed like an eternity for it to pop into my brain. Then "it" betrayed me! It surely popped up and out of my mouth came the word......IRREPREHENSIBLE!!!! The superintendent graciously nodded as if he understood what I was trying to articulate. I realized that that word was NOT the word but I still could not find the word! I felt it on the tip of my tongue but that darned thing was an elusive little something. FRUSTRATING! I also realized that IRREPREHENSIBLE was not a word.  Argh (Hand to forehead).
        Sidebar**** Ratchet is a word that has been combined with wretched into the creation of a new word wratchet. The urban use of this word has spread far and wide proliferating the internet through social media. Surely, I can coin a new word...IRREPREHENSIBLE. What ever shall it mean? I haven't decided yet.
           The embarrassment of my word flub has been lurking around for two days. So I decided to blog about it. Ironically enough during the course of that conversation we were discussing shame and grace. Hmmm......I am learning to grant myself grace, to not assume that I know what someone is thinking about me and my word use error, and if in the future someone does judge me harshly to not appropriate their judgement as my truth. I also continue to laugh out loud about the entire thing. I am really beginning to know myself in an even deeper way. I love to write because words flow more easily for me during the writing process. I can also take the time to process my thoughts and find the absolute most juiciest and scintillating words to express my innermost thoughts AND I get to use a thesaurus!!! In speaking sometimes it just takes me a little longer to find the absolute most perfect word to say. I am also learning that not having the absolute most perfect word to say in the moment is ok. The truth is I absolutely LOVE words! However, there are times when finding the absolute most perfect word has more to do with proving that I am smart and worthy. Knowing this gives me freedom and brings healing to the little voice inside that thinks she isn't enough. I am enough when I use big words, small words, medium words and made up new words. IRREPREHENSIBLE is not IRREPARABLE....KIAI!