11/26/2015 0 Comments
Today I woke up and cooked my 3 sons a wonderful Thanksgiving breakfast before chatting it up with my sister on the phone in Georgia. I then dropped my guys off to their dad's in order for them to be able to spend time with family from out of town. My initial plan was to come home and work on business related projects. I had it all planned out. I was excited that I was not sad about spending Thanksgiving alone. I thought, "Wow! Anitra you have really come along way with your inner healing. God is good!" Until I got home. The feeling of aloneness struck me and I was almost taken off guard. This time, however, unlike times past I welcomed it. I embraced it. I felt it. I then wondered what was it truly trying to show me? I began to think and ask myself what it was that I truly wanted? What did I truly value about days like this.
The truth is that I value and long for connection. On today especially connection with family. Connection and family are two of my top priorities. Looking at the situation from a limiting place it would have seemed hopeless as all of my immediate family lives in the south and traveling isn't feasible at this time. My mom is in North Carolina and my siblings with their families are all in Georgia. I am the lone wolf that stayed behind in Michigan. As I sat with my feelings and began to think about my top values being family and connection it made perfect sense that I was feeling sad and alone on a holiday after having dropped my sons off to their dad's! Whenever our value system is under siege or in any way challenged we experience conflict inside. This conflict can look like anger, sadness, withdrawal, resentment or feeling helpless. Awareness of your personal value system can allow you to understand your reactions and allow you to create a new action plan for yourself when your values are being challenged.
Feeling sad or perhaps lonely isn't the enemy. Understanding why you are having those feelings and knowing what core thought is at the base of those feelings can allow you to move beyond those feelings so that those feelings won't overwhelm you and take you down the rabbit hole of despair. Acknowledging and validating your pain is important. Your feelings are normal and many people feel the way that you do when in your same circumstance.
So, what is my action plan? Well seeing as I had already prepared myself a Thanksgiving meal all I was missing was my family. So, I decided to call up my sissy and invite myself to dinner in Georgia via Skype! She thought it was a GREAT idea! I am currently at home working on my passion, my coaching business and awaiting dinner with my family via Skype. I feel great. Do I still miss my family? Of course I do! But what I don't feel is despair. I feel peace and contentment. I also feel gratitude for being able to coach my way through my own thoughts and feelings.
Takeaways: It's ok to feel what you feel. Your feelings are clues to what you value and raodmaps to creating opportunities of peace and fulfillment for yourself. Holidays can be difficult but they are navigable. Spend time loving you and create space for your heart. I pray that your heart finds comfort and peace during this holiday season. God Bless and KIAI!
Awakening to your value is a daily moment by moment occurrence. The key to becoming aware of your value is to first understand that you are worthy of love and respect including and perhaps most importantly from yourself.
"Before trying a life coach I felt a sense of embarrassment to let anyone know what I was going through. It seemed too hard to face the truth about my life up until recently. It took for me to reach mental distress before I reached out for help. Reaching out for help to Anitra Rice was the best first choice I could have made to start my new healthy journey. With every session my thoughts become clearer on what I WANT OUT OF LIFE! Coaching is not only helping with my inner peace, but also my PARENTING is improving, which has impacted my son in a positive manner as well. Thanks Ms. Rice!"
Parent/Legacy Builders Parent Coaching Program
"It helped me to see that there are other people out there just like me" ~Taisha Glenn
Parent /Workshop attendee
"Great speaker that catches your emotion and attention. Creating a vision board was inspiring.
Anitra.... articulated my thoughts, feelings and journey so perfectly that it inspired me to the core of my being. God has given you a gift to be able to share and bring hope to those who are on the journey to healing in Jesus.... God has been so faithful to heal me... you've just put it into words and song. May God continue to bless you and others through you.
Hope Community Church
"Hearing Ms. Rice's story of her life, who would have known that she's been through what she's been through. The different exercises she had for the (attendees) to do were very helpful in understanding myself"
"This (Confidence Building Workshop) was wonderful...This (vision boarding) took me in so many directions! I realize I must change my thinking to draw up a plan."
~ Patti Dawes
Finding your way to your most authentic self and healthy path requires courage and forward momentum. Anitra helps you repurpose obstacles so they aid you on your journey. That was my experience. My 'demons' are now whipped, chained and pulling my sleigh forward.
~ Coaching Client
As a teacher I know we all struggle with starting a parent meeting off with positive things about a child who has been cutting up in our class. Well, one day, I was speaking to Ms. Rice about a student that has been significantly misbehaving in class. I told her how I was finally able to get the parent to come in for a face to face meeting. Ms. Rice shared with me how to start the meeting off by showing the parent empathy about having to receive calls about their child misbehaving in class and then how to proceed with asking the parent to help me be able to work with their child so he/she can be more successful in school. I must say I tried this with my parent and it really turned the atmosphere for the meeting around. The parent was not defensive about his child. He even did most of the talking after that with his child telling his daughter how disappointed he was in the choices she's making and how she is making it hard for her teachers to help her to learn all she can. After the meeting, the little girl was a different person. I truly feel that this was because I started the meeting off with the strategies that Ms. Rice had provided me. Thank you Ms. Rice for your help. You turned a negative to a positive meeting.
~Mrs. L. Herron
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