Yes, I know the title is a tongue twister. And yes, I also know that irreprehensible is not a word. That darned non-word has been wrecking my brain for 2 days! You see I love words and I appreciate grammar. I have even walked away from dating a particular suitor due to his very poor grammatical skills. Perhaps it's the teacher in me. I am generally attracted to men that are articulate and well spoken. I am also hard on myself when it comes to grammar. I recognize that I am not perfect and many times I'll give myself a pass for artistic flare. Ebonic slang and colloquialisms don't fit into a neat package of grammatical strictness but they do add pizzazz, color and pop to speech. And being the creative that I am, I enjoy using them.
However, two days ago while speaking to a very well respected and important leader, a superintendent of our denomination, I grasped for the words to express my thoughts on a particular subject that I am very familiar with. I searched for it. I waited for what seemed like an eternity for it to pop into my brain. Then "it" betrayed me! It surely popped up and out of my mouth came the word......IRREPREHENSIBLE!!!! The superintendent graciously nodded as if he understood what I was trying to articulate. I realized that that word was NOT the word but I still could not find the word! I felt it on the tip of my tongue but that darned thing was an elusive little something. FRUSTRATING! I also realized that IRREPREHENSIBLE was not a word. Argh (Hand to forehead).
Sidebar**** Ratchet is a word that has been combined with wretched into the creation of a new word wratchet. The urban use of this word has spread far and wide proliferating the internet through social media. Surely, I can coin a new word...IRREPREHENSIBLE. What ever shall it mean? I haven't decided yet.
The embarrassment of my word flub has been lurking around for two days. So I decided to blog about it. Ironically enough during the course of that conversation we were discussing shame and grace. Hmmm......I am learning to grant myself grace, to not assume that I know what someone is thinking about me and my word use error, and if in the future someone does judge me harshly to not appropriate their judgement as my truth. I also continue to laugh out loud about the entire thing. I am really beginning to know myself in an even deeper way. I love to write because words flow more easily for me during the writing process. I can also take the time to process my thoughts and find the absolute most juiciest and scintillating words to express my innermost thoughts AND I get to use a thesaurus!!! In speaking sometimes it just takes me a little longer to find the absolute most perfect word to say. I am also learning that not having the absolute most perfect word to say in the moment is ok. The truth is I absolutely LOVE words! However, there are times when finding the absolute most perfect word has more to do with proving that I am smart and worthy. Knowing this gives me freedom and brings healing to the little voice inside that thinks she isn't enough. I am enough when I use big words, small words, medium words and made up new words. IRREPREHENSIBLE is not IRREPARABLE....KIAI!
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I was married for 12 years. We were together for a total of about 15 years. We bore 3 beautiful sons together. Sometime after the marriage ended my ex told me that he never loved me. He said that he loved the idea of who he thought I WOULD be, but never loved me. That revelation singed my soul. I absolutely loved him. I loved him through some stuff!!!! I was always willing to grow and reflect to love him better during the course of our marriage. At his revelation of never have loved me I wondered was I wrong to have action verb loved him so profoundly? I regretted my innate ability to love so deeply. That is until I realized the gift of loving so deeply has given me. I now know my great capacity to love. I now know how important it is to love myself and how important it is to set boundaries in love. I still love deeply. It is a beautiful gift from God. I don't regret having loved a man that claimed to have never loved me. It doesn't make me less than. It makes me beautiful and tender hearted. It makes me strong. It takes strength and courage to CHOOSE to love. I love me more today than ever before. I love Anitra so very much. I love me enough to know when to walk away not in anger, but in love. I am stronger and wiser having loved. KIAI!
Awakening to your value is a daily moment by moment occurrence. The key to becoming aware of your value is to first understand that you are worthy of love and respect including and perhaps most importantly from yourself.
"Before trying a life coach I felt a sense of embarrassment to let anyone know what I was going through. It seemed too hard to face the truth about my life up until recently. It took for me to reach mental distress before I reached out for help. Reaching out for help to Anitra Rice was the best first choice I could have made to start my new healthy journey. With every session my thoughts become clearer on what I WANT OUT OF LIFE! Coaching is not only helping with my inner peace, but also my PARENTING is improving, which has impacted my son in a positive manner as well. Thanks Ms. Rice!"
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Anitra.... articulated my thoughts, feelings and journey so perfectly that it inspired me to the core of my being. God has given you a gift to be able to share and bring hope to those who are on the journey to healing in Jesus.... God has been so faithful to heal me... you've just put it into words and song. May God continue to bless you and others through you.
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As a teacher I know we all struggle with starting a parent meeting off with positive things about a child who has been cutting up in our class. Well, one day, I was speaking to Ms. Rice about a student that has been significantly misbehaving in class. I told her how I was finally able to get the parent to come in for a face to face meeting. Ms. Rice shared with me how to start the meeting off by showing the parent empathy about having to receive calls about their child misbehaving in class and then how to proceed with asking the parent to help me be able to work with their child so he/she can be more successful in school. I must say I tried this with my parent and it really turned the atmosphere for the meeting around. The parent was not defensive about his child. He even did most of the talking after that with his child telling his daughter how disappointed he was in the choices she's making and how she is making it hard for her teachers to help her to learn all she can. After the meeting, the little girl was a different person. I truly feel that this was because I started the meeting off with the strategies that Ms. Rice had provided me. Thank you Ms. Rice for your help. You turned a negative to a positive meeting.
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